Remembering those who sacrificed all so that we remain free

By Jeff Jardine

Each Memorial Day, there are those who deeply respect and revere the reason we commemorate it. They lost loved ones killed while serving the nation. It is, and will forever remain, personal for them.

Behind each war death is the unique story of their respective father, mother, brother, sister, cousin or dear friend. Of futures that never happened, of hugs, kisses and smiles lost to a bullet, bomb, bayonet or brutality.

During Japan’s December 7, 1941, attack on Pearl Harbor, a sailor named J.B. Delane Miller was among five crewmen aboard the USS Tennessee who died when a bomb struck the armor plate of a gun turret.

The 23-year-old Oklahoma native became Modesto’s only Pearl Harbor casualty – a “Modestan” only because his mom lived here and he used her address when he enlisted in the United States Navy two years before the attack.

His mother, like so many others, received that sequence of dreaded telegrams. The first reported him missing in action, the second confirmed his death. Families of more than 400,000 others, killed while defending the freedoms our Constitution guarantees, experienced the same hurt, grief and loss during World War II.

Then, 36,516 died in the Korean War followed by 58,281 in Vietnam. Since 2001, the Iraq and Afghanistan wars added 7,078 more to the toll.

And yes, there were mothers among them. Of the 153 U.S. women killed in combat since 9/11, 23 had children 18 years or younger.

That’s why Memorial Day draws a range of emotions that include sadness, love, pride and gratitude. Some can still recall the gut-wrenching moment during World War II, when telegraph messengers or cabbies rolled up their streets to deliver the bad news. Or, beginning during the Vietnam War, they watched as a car stopped in front of their homes and an officer and chaplain walked to their doors.

During my years as the Modesto Bee’s columnist, and later while working for the California Department of Veterans Affairs, I talked to scores of family members of those killed serving this nation, as well as military veterans who lost friends and comrades in battle. They understand true sacrifice even as the real meaning of Memorial Day fades and platitudes seem more and more like lip service.

Even before the Civil War ended, the families of war dead began adorning the graves of the fallen in tribute. In 1868, General John A. Logan of the Grand Army of the Potomac authorized May 30 as Decoration Day, which later became Memorial Day.

When Congress passed the Uniform Monday Holiday Act of 1968, it created three-day weekends out of Washington’s Birthday (February 22, which evolved into Presidents’ Day), Memorial Day and Veterans Day. Because Veterans Day commemorates the armistice that ended World War I at the 11th hour of the 11th day of 11th month (November) in 1918, citizens demanded its return to November 11th. President Ford signed it into law in 1975.

Memorial Day, however, continues as a long weekend on the last Monday of May. It often is confusing to those who don’t understand the difference between Memorial Day, which honors those killed while serving, and Veterans Day, which honors all veterans. Members of the media routinely botch this as well. Some people simply don’t care.

People like Janna Hoehn of Hawaii offer permanent reminders. Janna spent 11 years finding and posting over 8,000 photos among the 58,281 on the Vietnam Veteran Memorial Wall’s Wall of Faces. We worked together to find photos of the 32 Vietnam War fallen from Stanislaus County, as well as others from neighboring counties. Today, every name on the wall is accompanied by a face – in no small part due to Janna’s energies and efforts. She gave the keynote address at the Vietnam Wall on Memorial Day 2014.

Still, so many — perhaps even the majority of Americans today — know Memorial Day only as a three-day holiday that marks the beginning of summer (albeit jumping the gun by 25 days). They mark the occasion with a backyard barbecue or a day at the lake or sifting through Memorial Day sales.

Yes, those are among the freedoms for which Americans have given their lives.

That said, a simple nod of thanks – or, as the National Monument of Remembrance urges, a moment of silence at 3 p.m. to honor the memory of those who died while serving this country – isn’t too much to ask.